by Gracie Smith
Volume 7: All Good Vibes
The Vibrator, a source of pleasure for those who are single or in a committed relationship, with hundreds of different types, colors, textures, and variations, but all of which were designed for the single purpose of bringing you to climax. There are many reasons why people use vibrators. People who like the vibration, pulsation and/or rotation, people who like the sound, people who want to climax quickly, people who need stress relief, people who don’t have or want a partner, people who like to use it on their partner…the possibilities are endless.
Originally designed by Dr. Granville in the 1800’s as a steam powered medical “massaging” machine, that physicians encouraged women with anxiety, irritability and hysteria to use around the pelvis to induce “hysterical paroxysm” –an orgasm, which they claimed would restore a women to full health. I’d say it caught on quite well, by the 1890’s a portable hand held vibrator was invented and quickly became a woman’s favorite travel companion.
Does this mean women kicked men to the curb because he didn’t vibrate? No! Lets be reasonable, a hard steel object doesn’t cuddle, doesn’t tell you you’re pretty, doesn’t rub your back when you’re feeling out of sorts and sure as heck doesn’t get up to get the baby in the middle of the night. A significant other is instrumental in a relationship, and NO sort of toy will diminish the strength and connection you both have. As a disclaimer though, if you’re in an abusive relationship –verbal or physical, seek help, there are hot lines, health care specialists and counselors available and willing to help and listen!
I’ve heard the argument for years about couples not wanting toys in the bedroom because they are afraid that they or their partner will come to “need” the toy more than the actually human to reach their climax. My comment back to them is this:
I’m not gonna lie, being rocked by a vibrator is amazing, but can present the “desensitization” of future orgasms due to the power of the vibration. A girlfriend of mine suggests solo/partner (non toy) masturbating a few times after your vibrator play, so that you can reacquaint your body on how a regular orgasm feels, how long it takes and the focus needed to obtain it. It can take a woman between 20-45 minutes to reach orgasm without assistance from a toy, so be patient, breathe and enjoy the foreplay.
With that being said, toys are accessories in the bedroom, just like you wear jewelry on top of clothing during the day. Toys in the bedroom allow you a different menu of play to reach an orgasm. It affords you the ability to explore different kinks, stretch your comfort and trust levels with one another and share something with each other that very few get to experience with you. The whole point to making love is to connect with your partner. It’s to watch their face as you hit that key spot that puts them on top of the mountain ready to fall. It’s kissing, licking, biting, and massaging just to see the goose bumps rise on their skin. It’s about claiming one another for your own in the most raw and vulnerable form possible. It’s about the joy of the pleasure, no matter what toy or kink you use, as long as your partner agrees, then that’s all it is, is a game of sensations you get to share together. It opens a different more intimate way to connect and talk to your partner.
Are toys for everyone? No honestly. There are some men and women who are extremely sensitive and the vibrating sensation is too much and often painful for them. There are people who have had surgery that minimizes the size of toy that can be inserted. There are people who are allergic to the type of materials used, there are people who have a phobia of sex and sex toys, there are also people who have been abused and can’t stand the sight or sound of them.
On the flip side there are people who need that extra vibration, pulsation or rotation to reach climax. Their nerve endings are not as sensitive as others and having the extra stimulation can help immensely. Does this make your partner inadequate because your body is different than theirs? No, it means we are all different human beings with different erogenous zones and different sensitivity levels. This is why communication is so important in any relationship, but especially those you are intimate with.
If you are looking to introduce toys into the bedroom or looking to be more adventurous with your partner, I’d say, “Go For It” but talk about it first. Communicate to see what they are able to do, what their comfort levels are and what toys you both are interested in. It may be a dildo, a vibrator, an object, food, edible undies, books, pictures, ropes…on and on and on. Be confident and talk to one another so that you know how to set their passion on fire.
As always, thank you so much for reading this week’s blog. Be sure to write in and tell me what you think, whether I’m spot on, missed something you would have liked to have read or would like to be apart of the next blog post. I love who I am, I love what I do, and I love the products I get to share with all of you. I am the creator and CEO of Full Bloom Parties and until next time, be cool, stay safe and practice your own KINK and Sexy.
I hope you enjoy, like, comment, and keep in touch with all the up-coming blogs. Ladies, if you’d like to be interviewed for your own KINK and Sexy article, be sure to message me either through social media or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll set up an interview!
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