By Liona Sun
Volume 3: Take that media and shove it.
Aww the media. One of our main sources for new products and our unrealistic ideals of “real” women. In reality it’s the main source of body shaming, nit-picking and toxic thoughts of us getting old and overweight. Since when did we give them so much power over our emotions and self esteem? Would you believe that at the turn of the 20th century advertisements were pressing women to be fat? One of my favorites is an advertisement for idolized yeast saying, “Men wouldn’t look at me when I was skinny!” WHAT??? How far we’ve come since then!
Unfortunately, it has gone so far in the other direction that models have a requirement of no fat AND no muscle to fit that “ideal” body type. Since when did that become desirable? It sure as heck isn’t healthy for their body or their mind!
So what happens when we look at them on magazines or on T.V.? Do you by into their perfect life, perfect teeth and perfect streamline body, as you sit there eating your burrito? Hardly. Sometimes we wish and compare our bodies to theirs. Sometimes we buy all the products that they are selling so that we can “get thin” and become sexy and desirable for our partner. Sometimes when all that fails, we get angry turn off ads all together and nit pick all of our “flaws.” Then if we get really disgruntled about someone else’s belief of how WE should look, we nit-pick and body shame others. Disgusting isn’t it.
Unfortunately, I was a victim of someone else’s body shaming, the horrible part, was I was already thinking those same thoughts and she just confirmed it. What they didn’t know is I had already lost 50 pounds after two babies. They didn’t know that I was struggling with my food intake, quantity and quality of sleep. They didn’t know that my man worked three hours away and I was taking on the household by myself. All they saw was me 30 pounds heavier than my comfort level and sank their teeth in.
I did what any woman would do. I went and cried my eyes out, ate a flat of cookies and then got mad about “Who does she think she is?” The joke was on them though. I may not look like them or the ugliest model on T.V. (whom is gorgeous), but I wouldn’t want to, with that attitude anyway.
After many years of diving in to bettering myself through my mind and knowledge, I have compiled a “game plan” for anytime someone says something that tries to diminish my worth.
- Communication. I tell my man about it and how much it hurts and frustrates me. He gives me a couple good chuckles about her being a crabby old hag and tells me I’m beautiful. This not only opens the communication as to what your insecurities are, which I’m sure they already know through our tell tale signs. It also, gives us the opportunity to become closer. You partner may love your love handles, big booty, and big boobs. The best part about it is when you see your partner get upset at someone degrading you…wonderful show of possession in my opinion. Lastly, communication flows over into the bedroom. You get to perform all the things you both like for each other and ONLY each other, with the added benefit of emotion on top of it…ever had “Make me feel better sex?” or “I had a bad day sex?” It’s pretty amazing.
- Say Nice Things to YOURSELF: This is by far my favorite thing to do! Everyday I choose 3 things I love about my physical form. The only way to bring in more good, is to believe in the good. One of my favorite quotes is, “If you talked to your friends the way you talk to your body, would they still be your friends?” Once I realized the answer I changed the words that were coming out of my mouth. So everyday I look at myself in the mirror – eye to eye – and repeat my 3 LOVES - 10 times each. This helps to build yourself confidence as well as your “Give a crap” meter. If you believe in yourself you won’t give a crap what other people say. If you build yourself up, than your life changes on what you believe you deserve and can accomplish. All with three little words: I. LOVE. ME.
- STOP THE CYCLE: It can be hell dispelling what we believe to be true in ourselves, especially when we hear it from other people’s mouths. Sometimes we work really hard and don’t see the results we’re expecting and start hating the world. We nit pick our bodies in the shower. We nit pick our face and teeth in the mirror. We nit pick someone’s phenomenal attitude, because we’re grumpy. We even nit pick someone’s good style and amazing body, because we don’t have it ourselves. What we fail to realize is the WHOLE purpose for this mess is NIT-PICKING! Catch yourself in the cycle and say 3 things you love about her and 4 things you LOVE about yourself. None of us are perfect and none of us are better than one another. We are all different. We lead different lives, we have different likes, we want different wants, STOP comparing yourself to them!
- Confidence is KEY: We all have those days when we just feel gross and rotten, I get it, it happens, but life doesn’t stop because our insecurities are on high alert. Get up, take a shower, put on your face and FAKE IT ‘TIL YOU MAKE IT GIRL! There is no better way to tell your mean insecure self to piss off, than to ignore the poo out of her. She doesn’t know who you are, only you do. Maybe you’re feeling unloved. Go buy yourself some flowers. Write yourself a love note. Go treat yourself to a new dress. Go buy yourself some sexy shoes, make up, eye shadow, a new sex toy!!! DON’T WAIT for someone else to fill the happiness love void. No offense to men, but they don’t always know when we’re feeling crummy. They are NO mind reader and usually have no clue how to fix us…so why the hell are you expecting them to do it? Cut him some slack and do it your damn self.
Ladies, we have gotten to the place were instead of building each other up and empowering one another, we’re ripping each other to shreds, because someone else did it to us. Stop the cycle and feel the love. Show people appreciation. Share a smile, but like most everything else, it has to start right here at home with you. Don’t let anyone, the media, T.V. advertisements, tabloids or some stupid mean girl on the street tell you what your self worth is. Only you have the power to let it bother you or not.
As always, I love who I am, I love what I do, and I love the products I get to share with all of you. I am Liona Sun, Full Bloom Parties Blogger and until next time, be cool, stay safe and practice your own KINK and Sexy.
I hope you enjoy, like, comment, and keep in touch with all the up-coming blogs. Ladies, if you’d like to be interviewed for your own KINK and Sexy article, be sure to message me either through social media or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll set up an interview!
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